Dear Disappointment

The following letter was written by Israel Lozano during our 2020 weekly writing group, The Green Walls Writer’s Project, in response to a prompt to write a letter to our feelings. 

Dear Disappointment,

It’s been six years since we’ve first met. Knowing you, you’re probably planning to surprise me with something soon. Maybe some seasonal depression, anxiety during my annual speeches, you might even hit me with guilt tripping from overthinking my friendships and love interest. 

Honestly, I’m sick of you hitting me up whenever you feel like it. I wish you would just let go already. The Israel you met those six years ago isn’t the same person anymore. I’ve done a lot of soul searching since then, trying to get over the things you put me through. I mean, with my tendency to cling towards a fast-paced lifestyle, people accuse me of having commitment issues. Truth is, I just don’t want to be around things that remind me of you.

I am committed, I am meaningful. I don’t spread myself thin anymore like I did for you. Some of your friends still like to try and taint my name, but that’s okay. I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in right now. I might’ve lost a lot of things, but I’ve gained a lot since too. 

You, on the other hand… you haven’t changed a single bit. I’ve found peace and love with myself, no more people-pleasing as my identity. I’ll end on a light note for you, though. You can change anytime. You probably won’t leave me alone, but I won’t mind. I’ve made friends with some of your friends again. Turns out holding grudges isn’t the best thing after all. So I’ll just leave it at that for you, because deep inside, we’re kindred spirits, you and I.

Much love,

Israel