Adri's Mind

Written by Adriana Campos, a CSUCI student.

I hope you’re well wherever you are in this world that we live in together, for some of your life can be light and you may have never doubted anything for a second, but for some of you it could be a place of overwhelming darkness. There is a thin line between the two when you experience both, and that’s me. I had never questioned life and its purpose for me until I was led by a severity of hardships, lessons, and heartache and I found myself in that place.

I’ve never been so vulnerable in my life until that’s all I had; I embraced the darkness as I released the burdens that I carried from others that I loved so dearly. I embraced the grief of my beautiful grandmother because the year she died, a part of me died too. I strongly valued that relationship because I didn’t have that with my own mom. I can thank my grandmother for blessing my mom with a soft heart for me to now have the relationship with her that I always longed for. I’ve forgiven my father for he has done the best he could, I’ve forgiven my mother for the same. I love them dearly, but I also love me, and my inner child kept showing up regardless of how at peace I thought I was with life.

I needed to embrace my inner child as well because even though I forgave my parents, I hadn’t embraced my hurt from my childhood. As a child I grew up with fear, chaos, and instability. The way my inner child showed herself was through anxiety and panic attacks. My relationship with God and my spiritual journey have given me the healthy space to remind myself to love and nurture my own being with grace. It’s a reminder that when life becomes overwhelming, we can choose the love and safety that will lead to peace in your mind.